Death: You don't scare me.!

I've never been afraid of death.... I look forward to it.... but watching the ones I love die, or the ones of others die, it sends me through a spiral of depression so painful that the grief is too much to bare.... but that day i die, i know I'll never feel a thing again... but for now,I'm so sensitive that i feel every little break in everyone's heart who has ever lost some to the most horrible thing most people fear.... this makes me feel weak.... i faced things a lot more horrible than death.... but the death of others paralyze me till im wishing it was me going instead of them..... if there was a million of me, i would die any day for those who have.... basically that's what it is, every time i hear of some one dying, its as if part of me too is dying.... soon there's going to be nothing left of me by the time it's time for me to die.... Is it wrong of me to feel this way? would i be considered to have issues to feel this way? will some one say that I'm a fool to feel this way? yeah i know millions of people die each year, but I'd rather not know about it. Just to save myself. Sounds selfish in away....